“In an age of constant movement, nothing is so urgent as sitting still.” - Pico Iyer
Just as traveling offers us the chance to step outside our habitual way of responding, so does pausing in our day-to-day lives. Pausing is the entryway to stillness in body and mind, the foundation of all contemplative practices. It is in the stillness that we most intimately know ourselves. Initially, this can be an uncomfortable space; with practice, we witness its transformative power. In building a capacity to pause, we learn skillful means to cope with discomfort and uncertainty.
As a clinician, my responsibility is to help create a container for stillness so that my client can be present to what arises from within, learning to understand, hold, and utilize that knowledge. One way I do that is by pausing and highlighting an insight they quickly bypassed in the desire to move to action or escape discomfort. Slowing down and not avoiding what we notice about our thoughts, perceptions, and physical responses is an important accomplishment. When we learn new responses to discomfort, caring for ourselves within it rather than running from it or reacting to it, we access our capacity for profound self-understanding.
Simply pausing and noticing often organically leads to more skillful and healthier options for allowing room for all our experiences. The insights, reflections, and observations that come from pausing and stillness are more valuable than those that someone else can offer us.
Simply noticing is a pause that can be challenging, even in situations that are not uncomfortable. Try this exercise in pausing and noticing below.
Walk around the block, setting your intention to practice noticing. You might first notice what comes to you visually. You might then notice subtler things like the experience of your body as you are walking: The sensation of your feet touching the ground or the feeling of the breeze as it touches your face, moves your hair or rustles your clothes. You might also notice the smells on the street: Exhaust, food from storefronts, and fresh air. Notice the sounds around you: Car sounds, such as radios and engines, nature sounds, and people sounds. Notice your responses to the different sounds – those you prefer and those you don’t enjoy. Can you let them come and go? Notice the absence of sounds and the alternation between near and distant sounds. Notice the natural ebb and flow of a particular sound.
You will likely have many associations with what you notice. You will get distracted and think about the day’s activities or find some other thoughtscape to get lost in. When this happens, can you gently bring yourself back to simply noticing? This practice is to bring yourself back, again and again, to the bare attention of what you notice while walking.
It’s helpful to conceptualize two types of pausing practices. The first type, which I’ll call the “Time Out”, is to step back physically from your daily routine. This kind of practice can happen during breaks throughout the day or for more extended periods. The second type of pause, “The Mindful Pause”, is more subtle, where you notice what is happening as it happens. The Time Out pause helps to create the conditions of the transformative, in-the-moment Mindful Pause.
The purpose of the Time Out pause is to step back from routine. Vacations and travel to new places can do this. Other ways of pausing might be leaving work early to do something you enjoy or walking around the block in the middle of a workday. It might be turning off our phone for a block of time every day (highly recommended), practicing yoga or reflection, taking naps, getting a massage, writing in a journal, meditating, sitting in nature, doing physical exercise, or listening to a piece of music.
More than the activity, your presence is what creates the pause. The Time Out pause has the quality of attentive engagement, which differs from many actions we take while distracted or moving through our day. For example, how much time do you spend internet surfing? It is okay to occasionally take a break to stream a show, text, or search on the internet. This is not, however, pausing intentionally and does not promote a centering stillness.
You may already incorporate the Time Out pause into your life. What is important is that you schedule and honor your commitment to these pauses. Don’t let other obligations intrude on them.
The second kind of pause, the practice of noticing what is happening as it happens or the Mindful Pause, is the heart of mindfulness practices. The Time Out pause (stillness via stepping back from routine) is in the service of the Mindful Pause. For example, if you meditate, its benefits aren’t meant to elevate you spiritually in a way that disconnects you from the messiness of life. Instead, meditation is a beautiful pausing practice that helps us stay present to the moment-to-moment aspects of our lives as we live them. It helps us recognize the beauty that is here now, including in the mundane. The Mindful Pause and its stillness enable us to cultivate authenticity and fully bring all of ourselves to this life.
We can pause mindfully in whatever we are doing. For example, if you spend a lot of time sitting at a desk, you might occasionally stand up and notice the sensations in your body. Drink a cup of tea and bring your attention to the sensory awareness as you take each sip. Another example is when you are angry and want to lash out, touch your heart, and say to yourself in a gentle voice, “Anger.” When you are under a tight deadline, pause and notice how you are experiencing the pressure – access the presence underneath thinking and notice the sensations in your body. When responding to an email, pause and stay present to just that one email rather than multitasking. When you are half-listening to someone while thinking of something else, pause and bring yourself back to the conversation.
One of the most helpful pausing practices is to anchor yourself in your breath. Throughout the day, step back from what you are doing and focus on the inhalation and exhalation of your breath for thirty seconds.
Consistently practice pausing every day and throughout the day. While it sounds simple, it is a radical departure from how we often move through our days.
When you practice the second kind of in-the-moment pausing, the Mindful Pause, recognize it! Pay attention to those moments when you have stepped back from habitual thinking and acting. Building up your capacity to pause more has the transformational benefit of centering you, honing and connecting you to your internal guidance system.