Intentionally Disconnecting

The Benefits of Mindful Travel

Traveling in Italy with two friends this past month created memories and deeper connections. It was also a time to disconnect, stepping away from my everyday routine and community. I wasn't completely cut off from others, but when there was contact, it was brief. Checking emails, sending texts, and catching up by phone was done in a small window at the end of the day. By the end of the trip, I missed friends and family and looked forward to meaningfully reconnecting.

Unplugging while traveling means getting away and being present to a new place or experience. It takes intention because it is easy to be distracted anywhere in the world. For example, a common sight at a cafe is someone taking pictures of their food and posting them on social media. The habit of jumping to a photo op and prioritizing showing your experience to others rather than simply enjoying the meal diminishes the ability to be present. 

One of the most significant benefits of periodically disconnecting from daily life is that it can cultivate a “beginner's mind”, approaching life with fresh eyes or as if seeing things for the first time. A concept in Zen Buddhism, it is a state of curiosity and openness, free of expectations or preconceived notions. This state is reflected in Shunryu Suzuki's words, "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's mind there are few."

Traveling expands our perspectives not because we seek out adventure or accumulate experiences, but because we are open to them. Openness brings us closer to states of wonder and awe that were more accessible when we were young. Returning home with a new appreciation of other cultures and lifestyles, we can challenge ourselves to live more creatively. Traveling mindfully is an opportunity to reflect upon where we typically place our energy and resources and be more willing to take risks for what matters most.

The other benefit of temporarily disconnecting from our lives is that we are likely to face existential concerns often outside our awareness. Traveling with beginner's mind highlights existential concerns, inviting questions that make many of us uncomfortable. These concerns are some versions of the question, "What's it all about?" Questions like, "What is the meaning of my life?" "What matters most to me?" and "How can I better live according to my values?" can come up.

Meaningfully unplugging while traveling evokes a heightened awareness of our fundamental desire to connect and the brevity of experience (and, by extension, how short life is). We know how tiny our personal world is, even if it is meaningful. Many people don't perceive the experience of existential concerns, like an awareness of aloneness, as a travel benefit. It can be uncomfortable and keeps some people from traveling, especially solo. But in facing our discomfort around life's big questions, and welcoming reflection on them, we can live with greater freedom and authenticity.

I'm now trying to intentionally re-enter my life in Washington after six weeks in southern Italy and Brooklyn, New York. I don't reconnect best by sharing stories about where I've been. Instead, I want to begin with where we are now, placing the immediate connection at the center. If, for example, an experience from the trip impacts me or organically arises from an experience I now have, it feels most natural to share at that time. In this way, I stay most connected to the present moment. 

Chiesa di San Cataldo, Palermo, Italy

Before traveling to Sicily, I wondered whether it would be a place I'd want to return to for a more extended trip where I could create a rhythm in one place. The answer is yes. A wonderful surprise for me was discovering how much I love Palermo.  I anticipated the city's historic center to be chaotic and imagined it would take time to appreciate its beauty. On the contrary, its charm captured me from the get-go. 

My friend Sharyn and I stayed in an Airbnb in a quiet alley just around the corner from the Chiesa di San Cataldo. This church's beautiful Arabic architecture, lit at night, is one of the many ways the city reveals to visitors that it has been a melting pot for millennia. Most everyone, including the visitors, spoke Italian or a dialect of it, enabling the experience of entering a world not my own.

While I appreciated spending time in the smaller cities with ancient buildings and breathtaking vistas like Ortigia, Modica, and Cefalù, I look forward to returning to Palermo and then a place in the countryside. I imagine spending time in a farmhouse preserved with care (with modern plumbing and amenities) surrounded by olive and orange trees. 

I've found that spot in a restored farmhouse in northern Sicily's Nebrodi National Park region. The Thinking Traveller describes the region of the Nebrodi Mountains as: "Swathes of forest, unbounded views of astounding beauty, gentle-giant mountains, pure unpolluted air, limpid lakes, age-old villages, deep fertile valleys, undisturbed peace and quiet...." This villa lies a few miles from the ancient hill town of Mistretta.

The hospitality of the villa's owners, Martine and her father, Enzo, attracts me to this property. In addition to the care taken to restore and retain the spirit of the old farmhouse, Enzo enjoys sharing the farm's history with guests. The villa's lower floor is a kind of museum showing how wine and olive oil were produced in the farm's past.

I have a year to improve my language skills. In Sicily's less visited places, spotty Italian is often better understood than English. After three decades of visiting Italy, I look forward to planting myself in one place so I can come to know it and myself within it. Here, I can practice meaningful morning rituals, like writing and meditating, that will ground me while I unplug. I also look forward to inviting friends and sharing meals, along with experiencing each other in a new environment with beginner's eyes.

Martine's and Enzo's restored farmhouse near Mistretta, Italy

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