I hit a wall several times as I sat down to write this week’s essay. As I grappled emotionally with the events in Israel and Gaza, my mind kept returning to the violent images and rhetoric that were ever present, even though I limited my exposure to the news cycle. Writing about connection, community, and care felt ineffectual and useless in the current moment.
As the week went on, thoughtful writers offered compassionate perspectives, and my numbness began to subside. Still, this week is a good time for using fewer words and taking small actions that create internal space. Here are a few thoughts on my path forward.
My morning meditation with my friend, Mark, was essential for my emotional well-being and creating space to connect with myself and my emotions. Of course, poetry always helps, and I read a poem while placing a candle in the window (see below). Lighting them at night reminds me that when I feel that I can do nothing, I can take a step to create internal space for compassion and other tender feelings, like sadness, grief, and even hope for peace in the face of evidence to the contrary.
The tradition of lighting a candle in the window has a variety of meanings, a few of which seem particularly helpful now. It’s a way to remember those who have died and a prayer for someone missing to return home. Candles in the window represent hospitality and welcoming others, especially a stranger who may need help. A light of welcome reminds us that we are all one family, sharing light with each other even in the darkest of times.
A candle flame reminds me to hold onto the light, and that I have a choice in how I embody this time of great uncertainty and pain for so many. When I see the candle light, I can create space in my heart for the many thousands of people in Israel who suffered horrific, unconscionable attacks on innocent lives. I wish for those affected to have room to hold each other in the light as they cope with ongoing trauma and grief. When I see the light, I create space in my heart for the many thousands of innocent people in Gaza who are displaced, living without the basic necessities to survive, who will be injured or killed in war. Their lives, too, are sacred and I wish for them safe spaces to recover from trauma, mourn, and heal.
When I look at the candle light, I can access compassion for everyone struggling to be emotionally and spiritually healthy in these chaotic and unhealthy times. May we all lead the way in creating a path forward, led by tender words and actions toward each other. May we always choose the path of connection, not separation.
Below is a poem by Vlasta Grabovac from a collection of poems for healing, shared by the United Nations.
Tonight I Put a Candle in My Window
And the flame went so high
It touched other flames up there
Tonight, I put a candle in my window
And all the windows of my neighbors in bright radiant togetherness
And up there the sky was brilliant and radiating silver sparks
Tonight, I put a candle in my window
For you, for me
It has already warmed me up
It was my neighbor who brought the light!
Share what helps you create space for tender feelings.